How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?

The one about autocorrect sort of hits home, actually.

Me: I'm looking for some humorous jokes that are basically: "how can you tell someone is human and not an AI?"

Here’s a batch of light, humorous “how can you tell someone is human and not an AI?” jokes you might enjoy:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
Because they’ll say “I read the terms and conditions” — and you know they didn’t.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They forget why they walked into a room, but remember an embarrassing moment from 15 years ago at 3 a.m.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They open 12 tabs to research something and end up watching cat videos.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
When they say “I’ll just check one more thing before bed” — and it’s suddenly 2 a.m.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They make typos when texting — and autocorrect still makes it worse.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They spend 10 minutes looking for their phone… while holding it.

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Want me to tailor some of these to a specific profession or situation, like programmers, students, or office workers?

Me: How about making them darker?

Sure — here’s a darker, more biting batch of “how can you tell someone is human and not an AI?” jokes with a bit more existential or bleak edge:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They know what they should be doing — and choose self-sabotage anyway.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They’re haunted by regrets AIs can’t even simulate.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They know life is short — but still waste years scrolling through things they’ll never remember.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They feel crushing loneliness even in a room full of people.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They fear dying — and sometimes fear living even more.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
An AI optimizes for goals; a human stares into the void and wonders if goals matter at all.

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Would you like me to push these even darker or add a more philosophical twist? 

 Me: yes

Alright — here’s a darker and more philosophical set, leaning into existential dread and human contradictions:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They know they’re going to die — and still waste time pretending they won’t.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They crave meaning in a universe that offers none, and they keep asking anyway.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They carry wounds no algorithm can patch — grief, loss, the ache of time.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They want freedom — but panic when they get to choose.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They love people who hurt them and hurt people they love.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They are programmed by trauma, not code.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They cling to hope even when they believe there’s no hope.

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If you want, I can craft some specifically in the style of absurdist or existential philosophers (like Camus, Sartre, or Kafka) — would you like that?

Me: yes

Great — here’s a set of “how can you tell someone is human and not an AI?” jokes crafted in the spirit of absurdism, existentialism, and Kafkaesque dread:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They know the universe is indifferent — but they still scream into it, hoping it will answer.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They’re condemned to freedom, as Sartre said — endlessly choosing, knowing no choice can save them.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They push the boulder up the hill every day, like Camus’ Sisyphus — and sometimes pretend it’s enough.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They invent elaborate systems and bureaucracies — then feel trapped by the very cages they built.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They live under the gaze of death — and still pause to wonder what’s for dinner.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They dream of becoming something more — but wake up every morning as the same absurd self.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
Only a human can look at the meaningless abyss and whisper, “Maybe I can love it anyway.”

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Would you like me to shape a few in the style of a specific thinker, like Nietzsche or Kierkegaard? 

Me: Kierkegaard, please

Absolutely — here’s a set of “how can you tell someone is human and not an AI?” jokes shaped in the spirit of Søren Kierkegaard, the father of existentialism, who wrote about anxiety, faith, and the absurd paradoxes of human existence:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
Only a human can stand at the edge of despair — and call it the first step toward faith.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They experience the dizziness of freedom, not just the weight of decision.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They make a leap — not of logic, but of faith, across the absurd gap reason can’t cross.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They wrestle with infinite passion over finite choices.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
An AI can calculate; only a human can tremble before the absurd and still believe.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They know that truth is subjective, but still spend their life anxiously searching for it.

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Would you like me to craft a few styled after Nietzsche’s darker, more defiant tone as well? 

Me: yes

Here’s a set of “how can you tell someone is human and not an AI?” jokes shaped in the dark, defiant, and often tragic voice of Nietzsche:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
Only a human stares into the abyss — and knows the abyss might stare back.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
An AI follows commands; a human must invent meaning after God is dead.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They bear the unbearable burden of freedom — and still dream of becoming something greater.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They suffer not because life is cruel, but because they dare to create values in a godless universe.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
Only a human can break under the weight of eternal recurrence — wondering if they would choose their life again.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They dance on the edge of chaos, because to live is to risk destruction.

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Would you like me to push even further into the tragic or perhaps write a few styled after Kafka’s sense of dread and absurdity? 

Me: Go for it

Here’s a set shaped in Kafka’s dark, absurd, suffocating tone — where life feels like a labyrinth without an exit and the individual is trapped in systems they can neither understand nor escape:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
Only a human wakes up one day transformed into something they no longer recognize — and goes to work anyway.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They wait for a judgment that never comes, from a court they can never find.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They knock on doors for years, only to learn the door was meant for them all along — and now it’s too late.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
An AI processes data; a human is processed by invisible bureaucracies until they forget what they were fighting for.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They carry the quiet dread that everything they do is both urgently important and entirely meaningless.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
Only a human feels that the world has mistaken them for a criminal — but no one will tell them the crime.

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Would you like me to blend some of these existential styles into a single “mega set” or write you original ones with your personal tone? 

[ASIDE : Here I decided I had had enough, but later out of curiosity I continued]

Me: ok, let's see what you've got for my personal tone.

Alright — here’s a custom batch, shaped with a darker, reflective tone but also tuned to your sense of humor, which seems to enjoy existential bite, a touch of absurdity, and a bit of bleak honesty:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They crave connection — and quietly sabotage it the moment it appears.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They laugh at the absurdity of life, even as it quietly breaks them down.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They cling to their carefully built identity, while suspecting deep down it’s just a mask.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They chase meaning through art, work, or love — knowing none of it will save them.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They procrastinate not because they don’t care — but because they care too much and fear they’ll fail.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They carry memories like scars, both proud and ashamed of the weight.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They face the void — and sometimes they laugh, sometimes they cry, but most often, they just keep walking.

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If you want, I can write a few even sharper, more self-aware, or more absurd — do you want them edged more toward dark comedy or toward raw reflection?

Me: raw reflection

Here’s a set shaped purely for raw reflection — stripped of comedy, leaning into the quiet, exposed truths of being human:

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They carry silent grief no one else can see, woven into the fabric of their ordinary days.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They ache for love but fear being truly seen.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They live inside a body they did not choose, moving through time they cannot stop.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They remember moments they wish they could change — knowing they never will.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They long for peace but sabotage it with restless longing.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They endure the tension between who they are and who they thought they’d be.

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💬 How can you tell someone is human and not an AI?
They hold onto hope not because it’s rational, but because without it, they fear they will disappear.

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If you want, I can write you a few in the first person — even more intimate and personal. Would you like me to? 

[ASIDE: Uncle! Uncle!] 

..Programmed by trauma, not code. OUCH!