Eclipses Make You Sick

 Today the eclipse came and I found myself waiting for 11 o'click, when it when the eclipse would be well underway here in Phoenix, and thinking I should got downstairs to the parking lot and get the eclipe glasses that are in the small plastic pocket in the car, leftover from the trip tot he New Mexico last year.As

As I waited, I wathed Youtube video on my ipad and Youtube suggested a live feed of a stramer showign the eclipse through a camera right here in Phoenix, so I was able to monitor how long I had to wait until it reached its maximum which would be about 65% coverage here.

I was in no hurry to go down, because I was not feeling well. I had woken up the day before, early on Sunday morning, and gone about my morning routine making coffee and praying, when I noticed something very weird. I noticed that I was losing my balance as I walked across the floor to the kitchen. It reminded me of being on a ship that is rocking, so that one is staggering bit to each side.

Then I immediately started feeling nauseous in the pit of my stomach, and I immediately hied to the bathroom, where I began retching dry heaves into the toilet, the stomach acide burning my throat as it came up.

After ecovering my wits, I tried walking again and found the same unsteadiness (not a spinning dizziness, jsut lurnching around like onboard a ship), and almost the same thing happened.

Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. Jessica lager told me I probably have some kind of viral infection of the inner ear, which would account for my symptoms. It persisted all day Sunday,w hich ws spend mostly sleeping, and in the evening I was running a fever and got the violent shivers, as I do when I sick.. It was somewha ta relief to have a fever and know that I was sick. I told myself that meant I could recover from whatever it was that had hit me.

I'm at the point of my life where something new---a new condition or physical ailment---is something I dread. Since 2018, when I first started having issue with me left eye, I have shifted drastically in my self perception, rom the assumption of indestructibility of my youth to one of knowing that body is slowing falling apart as a I age, and that at any moment, out of the blue, something might arise in my body that could change my lie utterly going forward. It count it as a blessing, to be aware of this.  Our bodies are not mant to last forever, and the decay of flesh is a gentle way for us to let go of this world and concentrate on the next one.

Nevetheless I'm very happy if I can heal or recover from someting that happens to me. As I write this, I am now able to walk again, still lurching somewhat, but without rushing to the toilet, 

This was not the case even earlier today, when I went down to see the eclipse. When I got the bottom of the outside stairs, even taking it low, the nausea had welled up me and I wretched on the ground, trying to hold it in, and then I approached the car, I could not contain it and out came the coffee I had drunk ealier. IT was all over the concrete. Anyone looking at it would not have assumed it came from a stomach, but ws just a spilled drink. 

I quickly steadied myself against the car and unlocked it to get the nylar-paper glasses, and then put them on to look up at the sun, almost at its zenith above th nearby buildings. What a spectacle I must have been to anyone watching. I imagined some scenario where they might tinterpret the eclipse as causing me to vomit.