Yes it is finally raining. The rain started when I was in the garage and it was glorious to hear the water on the pavement just outside the open door. I didn't want to leave the garage With any luck it will rain all night.
I was down in the garage specifically to look for an old 1099 tax form in order to verify that I once worked a job in 2019-2020. I used to work down there in garage during Covid just to have my own makeshift office outside the apartment. I felt lucky that we had that, and also that I had my full unspoiled undeveloped desert to roam on.
That job was for building an app in a boutique ski hotel in Breckenridge---all remote of course. It was a great job and it paid very well. Then it closed when Covid came along and they stiffed for a months work---sixteen grand. I don't think about that very much, but it made me lose a lot of trust in people in business. Live and learn. It seems like another world.
I got that job through an old business associate in the late summer of 2019. Jessica and I purposely detoured through Breckenridge and stayed the night there on our way to Estes Park that year, becausee I had already been discussing the position with the old coworker I mention, who had become the director of engineering there.
Alas I had the stupidity to pack one of my Trump baseball caps---not the classic red MAGA het but a taste green and brown camo hat with gold lettering say Trump 45. The issue was that I was wearing it absentmindedly at our cabin at the YMCA camp when my sisters drove up to greet us after we arrived. There was no issue at the time, but later during dinner my younger sister, prompted by an attempt at h humor with her, exploded with rage at me. How dare I! She had known I had voted for him, and was planning to do so again, but my wearing of the hat was crossing an unspoken line of truce which I had not been aware of.
She hasn't really spoken to me since, except to exchange pleasantries, at say my nieces high school graduation two years ago. She had been cold on and off to me in the past, but this is the longest by far. At this point I don't really expect to have a conversation with her again in our lifetimes.
Meanwhile I think I am ready to abandon and foreswear all of my political stances on candidates if it means I can have my family and friends back. It's not that I don't care, or have changed my mind about my underlying values. It's that I feel like I have run my race as far as politics go. I've been doing this a long, long time in my life. I want to retire from it. I will let others hash it out. The world can go on without me. I am not needed. Maybe I will stop voting too, so I can tell my family and friends that I don't vote and will not discuss politics. Crazy, I know, but that's where I'm at.
My sister's issues with me go deeper than politics---at least I assume so---so I don't think that will work with her. But maybe with some other friends it will work and that will be worth it to me, to at least see them again.
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