As I walked back from A.J.s with my groceries, having never put on a mask the entire time, I thought about some of the people who I am know personally and who, if they heard about my episode, would explode with rage and hate at me.
Of course nothing like that has much effect on me anymore, and some of them know them, but they would scream with hate anymore. They would scream because they like to hate.
Most of the people I could think of are the same ones who have, or would have, screamed with hate at me for voting for the Bad Orange Man. A couple months ago I had a breakthrough in my thoughts about such folks. Previously in my thoughts, I had gone on the assumptions that they hated me because I voted for the Orange Man.
I know that is not true. I think the reverse is true. I think they hate the Orange Man because it gives them an excuse to hate the people they already want to hate. This includes me. Most of the people who would scream at me are ones that I realize have not realized like me or enjoyed my presence for many years. But they tolerated me, and I have not given them the proper excuse to outright loathe me until now.
Now in their minds they can give free rein to that hate, not only of me, but of all the people who are the "problem with America," that they have hated for years.
Thus for these people, there will be no political conversion that would allow them to see things my way, and to no longer hate me. Only a spiritual conversion, away from the desire to hate other people, and to blame other people for their problems and their own inner pain, would have any effect.
As I've said, I feel sad for them and pray for them. Most of them I will not see again in this lifetime. I hope to see some of them in the next life, if God has mercy on all of us, and allow us that Grace.
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