Seen at: Carmike 10 in Ft. Collins at 4:00 p.m. on Nov. 20
Well, I suppose you're expecting me to say how much this movie sucks, and what a travesty it is that it made a gazillion dollars during its opening weekend.
Yes, I could write about that, but there are about a hundred thousand other bloggers writing about that right now, and I just hate to be part of the herd.
So instead I'll just stick to discussing the story, and whether or not it works within the context of the fictional world created by the movie, specifically as an extension of last year's first installment, Twilight.
As it happens I had the pleasure of seeing this on the afternoon of the first day of release. The auditorium at the Carmike was filled with preteen girls and middle-aged women---and me. I always appreciate seeing a film within ints intended audience.
Does the story work? I suppose it does, mostly. Overall it's mostly boring and sort of slow-moving, but there is enough of a narrative to make it watchable.
Most of the story is about the love triangle. As you may know, it is a lvoe triangle in which a teenage girl must choose between a vampire or a werewolf. Well, that's just the surface level of the allegory. Really it's about a a teenage girl who must choose between her love for a 109-year-old man and her physical attraction to a beefcakey but immature sixteen-year-old boy. Guess who wins?
Yes, it's the latter part I found most interesting, since, if you've read any of my writings over the past year, I've become fascinated by Hollywood's continual twisted metaphorical sublimation of the taboo subject of intergenerational love. It keeps cropping up over and over in various weird guises, including one of last year's Academy Award Best Picture nominees.
And if you think the Twilight series doesn't have this subtext, just consider how it would work if Edward were a seventeen year old vampire. Or worse, what if it were a 109-year-odl female vampire having a romance with a a seventeen-year-old male mortal? What if the mortal boy had to choose between the centenarrian vampiress and a sixteen-year-old busty lycanthropic cheerleader. My point is not that there is a double standard, but that age matters here.
So imagine my surprise when one of my female Facebook acquaintences, nearly my age, complains about the men her age who are complaining about New Moon. They are just jealous they aren't young and hunky like Edward, she complained. That really made me chuckle, but just imagine the layers of metaphorical twisting that is involved here, that has "Twilight Moms" waiting outside theaters at midnight to see the first showing. Are they in love with a seventeen year old boy, or a 109-year-old man? What it were "Twilight dads"? Would we find that similarly endearing?
I don't have a lot of answers to these questions right now, but I have to admit that the fact that I'm thinking about them is a plus for the movie franchise as a whole.
Now, back to the story. Like I said, it was slow moving. The Third Act came on too abruptly. I really wanted to spend more time in that Italian hill town (not the first time I've said that in my life, by the way). I thought the Volturri were interesting, and expected to see more of them, given the trailer. Instead they played a fairly small role.
Also I was bit disappointed to see the smash-up of the marble Volturri throne room. Not again, I moaned. It was way too much like the similar smash up the Classic(al!) theater in the fight scene at the end of Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant. Such a boring cliche.
But it makes sense, really. Vampires, as a metaphor, speak to Classicism stripped of moral character but retaining the Classical structure. Werewolves, on the other hand, are often about Classical morality stripped of its structure. I'll have to write about that sometime. I'm sure I'll get a chance soon. The Vampire movies just keep coming and coming.
By the way, the preteen girls has a mixed reaction to the story. They really didn't like the ending. One of them screamed out as much as the final credits hit. Tough crowd!
Verdict: If you liked the first one, might as well...
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